i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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