I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
