Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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