she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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