It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
