Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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