Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
