you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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