My first STD was from a foam party
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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