i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
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