So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
