thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
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you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
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We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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