So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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