shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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