Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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