I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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