We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
