I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
