he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
