I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
porn star boner night. come get it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
