Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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