Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
