At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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