Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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