According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
