Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
