i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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