i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
