I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just high enough for therapy.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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