Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
