It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
