3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i think we sleep fucked last night...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
