so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
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He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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