Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
