I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
