I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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