..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I didn't notice because vodka
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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