I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
