so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
