DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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