"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
