yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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