Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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