he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
