I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
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Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
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I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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