worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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