I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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