8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
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when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
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From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.