YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive