Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'

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(719): View more from Colorado

I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(847): View more from Illinois

In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.

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(207): View more from Maine

I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.

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(845): View more from New York

I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink

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