why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So many bounce houses so little time
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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