They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm passing your future prison.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
