Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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