i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
