Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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