if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
and you fell through a lawn chair
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
