look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
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i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
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The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
so much tequila, so little girl.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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