$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
