I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I don't think brook has ever known best
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
