she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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