so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
