i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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