I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
