If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
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I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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