I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
